Booze Break to Boys

I know I usually talk about cocktails on here, but something else has been on my mind these past few days, mainly at the gym when I'm likely to get pregnant just walking into the testosterone in the free-weight section and I get so annoyed I want to geek out on someone...

So, here it is, my boy beef:

1) Why do you have to grunt EVERY time you lift a weight? When I look over, we're holding the same size weights. If I'm not grunting, you don't need to be grunting!

2) Don't go into the corner of the gym and flex- I can still see you reflecting off all the mirrors as you lift your sweat-stained wife beater and smile at yourself. Let me assure you, you are NO Usher or LL Cool J.

3) Get out of the gym if you're not working out. If you're using the gym as your personal "singles night" or you spend more time oogling the chick with the thong on the elliptical than using the treadmill while I'm waiting for it, it's time to go!

Other man beef I'm annoyed with:

4) Why are your hands always down your pants?! I don't walk around with my hands on my boobs all day, and my boobs are clean... which is more than I can probably say for what your grabbing!

5) Fart/Sex Jokes - are you still 13?! NO! So, how is it that you are still laughing your butt off (no pun intended) when one of your buddies farts or someone happens to mention the number 69? It's a number, fellas, not just a position!!!

6) Boy words - while we're on the subject of sex stuff, I'm come to a conclusion that all crude words that have more consonants than vowels were created by men. Think about it: C*nt, P*ssy, D*ck, T*ts... see what I mean? Girls tend to use more vowels: boobies, whohaa, tata.. get it? Drop the consonants, gentlemen, and perhaps you'd get more whohaa.

Don't get me wrong, I know woman are just as annoying, but I just had to vent for a sec. (I'll share annoying fem behavior on another day.) Anyone else have any annoying boy behavior to share?